Book Review #2 - Quiet

I have been reading this book off and on for a few months, but finally finished it this weekend, which is why it has made its way onto my 2013 book review list.  The book in question is Quiet: The Power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking, and was written by Susan Cain in 2012. 

This book was recommended to me by a former manager at Fleming College on my 2nd day of work, when he realized that I may not actually be the glaring extrovert I appear to be on the outside (side note: an instructor at Seneca College suggested that I may in fact be an ambivert, given that I tend to fall right around the line distinguishing introverts from extroverts on the Myers-Briggs scale - the quiz on Cain's website would also see me classified as an ambivert).

In this book, Cain introduces notable introverts in history, and explains how their preference allowed them to make such significant contributions over time. She also explores how some of the 'typical' traits of introverts can be both a gift and a burden, especially in North American or European societies that so value extroversion.  Most importantly, Cain identifies some of the challenges faced by introverts and extroverts alike in the workplace, in romantic relationships, and even in parenting. 

One thing I liked about this book is that it wasn't 'extrovert bashing', in the sense that Cain didn't focus on how society is wrong for expecting all individuals to act a certain way. Instead, she explains some of the errors made by individuals of both types in certain situations and how they can meet in the middle to create/strengthen productive, supportive, and loving relationships.

As someone who can identify with both 'types', I found this book helped explain some of my own behaviours, as well as the reactions of others when I exhibit more of one than the other. Given that one third of all individuals identify as introverts, I think this book is a great read for managers who wish to support and encourage the more 'reserved' members of their teams; spouses looking to better understand their partners; parents who wish to help their children thrive without forcing them into a mould; or any individual wanting to understand the people around them.

I guess this is growing up

Last week, I spent a week in beautiful Punta Cana in preparation for my younger sister's wedding. That week, and the group of people who joined us on the trip gave me some time to reflect on some of the relationships that carry us through life.

You have to understand, my sister had always been one of those shy, quiet people who could spend hours at a family gathering without saying more than ten words.  Through martial arts, she helped develop her confidence and became more outgoing, though still never really saying more than necessary (unless you caught her with a group of friends - or my friends - where she wouldn't stop talking).

Though my sister never really had much to say, she did surround herself with a group of people who loved her and supported her, even when she decided to pick up with her now husband and move 12 hours from home following graduation from university (she chose to study accounting because she figured she could work for our father and would never have to worry about interviewing for a job).

The guest count at my sister's wedding was close to 50, which is uncommon for a destination wedding.  These guests included our parents, as well as several aunts and uncles; our stepsister (who we've become much closer to in the past few years) with her husband and daughter; several of her friends (some of whom had traveled from all over Canada and even Belgium), as well as her former Tae Kwon Do instructor and a former training partner.

My sister is one of those people who values every relationship she builds, and that was made evident by the group of people who joined us on this trip. Some of these people, such as our family, had known her since birth.  Others she had known since kindergarten. Some were high school or university friends, and a few were colleagues and new friends she has met in the 4 years she has been living out of province.  Her Tae Kwon Do instructor cried as she walked down the aisle, and when my stepfather stated that he looked as though he was marrying off his own daughter, her coach replied that it felt as though he was.

All these people have helped to make my sister into the successful young woman she is today, and I think her fortunate to have been able to keep these relationships so strong despite the years and miles which have separated them.

As I reflect on my own relationships, I would like to recognize everyone who has helped me get to where I am today, and wish to thank each and every one of them, even if I haven't had a chance to do so in person recently. I know sometimes time and distance make it impossible to stay in touch on a regular basis, but I am a product of the relationships I have had, and would not be who I am today were it not for these exceptional people.

Book Review #1 - The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

As I've promised myself as part of my #oneword2013, I will be reading at least one book per month which is either directly or indirectly related to my work in Student Affairs.

The first of these books is entitled The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable, written by Patrick Lencioni and published in 2002.  Given that most teambuilding/leadership books tend to be quite dry, I wasn't really sure what to expect when reading this one, but thought it might be worth reading anyways, given that I am now responsible for a team of student leaders for the first time as a professional. I was pleasantly surprised by not only how quick this book was to read (I made it through the 224 pages during two lunch breaks and a one-hour wait for an appointment), but how interesting it was as well.

Most of the book revolves around a fictional scenario in which a new CEO attempts to 'fix' a very disconnected executive team by identifying and addressing a list of 'dysfunctions' which prevent it from being successful. The book concludes with an in-depth review of the five dysfunctions, as well as a self-evaluation meant to allow individuals and groups to assess their team dynamics.

What I found most significant in reading this book was that even though I haven't had any real problems with my own team, I was able to identify behaviours which upon further reflection, would qualify as having a negative impact on the group.  Evidently, working in a group in which I am a professional staff member supervising a group of student leaders, I am not able to apply all the techniques that could work for a company's executive team. I am however getting some ideas for how to improve the dynamics within my current group, as well as how to help form next year's Residence Assistant team.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone working with a group of individuals, as either a supervisor or a team member.

My 'Commit'ments

Well, we are now 2 weeks into the new year and I've managed to uphold some of my commitments to date:

• My budget is looking good and I've even managed to put a decent chunk of money towards paying down some debt last week so that's making me feel pretty good
•  I've missed a couple Tumblr posts so far, but for the most part am posting something on a daily basis
• I've gotten my weekly blog posts in, so I'm doing well in that sense
•  haven't gone out running as much as I should be, but I'm planning to register for a couple 10k runs in the next few days, so that should at least guarantee that I'll get out to do some training in the meantime

1. The Sporting Life 10k in Toronto in May
2. The 10k Zoo Run in September

• I've gone a little Amazon-crazy and ordered 5 books that I have had on my must-read list for a while now.  My 'commitment' was to try and read one of these types of books per month (as I can read several works of fiction in a week), but it's looking as though that number may be increased slightly once I start diving into these ones

1. Achieving Student Success: Effective Student Services in Canadian Higher Education by Donna Hardy Cox and C. Carney Strange
2. Women don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
3. Ask for It: How Women can use the Power of Negotiation to get what they Really Want by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
4. Pursuing Higher Education in Canada: Economic, Social and Policy Directions by Ross Finnie et al.
5. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick M. Lencioni

Needless to say, I'm not perfect, but I definitely think I'm making some progress towards achieving the goals I have set out for myself in 2013.  I'm looking forward to continuing on this path and hopefully adding a few book reviews to this blog in the coming weeks.

Residence Life Winter Camp

This week, my colleagues and I took our 20 residence life staff members (Residence Assistants and Senior Residence Assistants) on a Winter retreat. This was a great opportunity for all the staff to spend time together for the first time since summer training, and reconnect as a team.  In addition to engaging the group, this opportunity also allowed the staff, as individuals, to challenges their own abilities, through learning how to cross-country ski, snowshoe, as well as participate in low and high-ropes courses.

In previous years, this retreat served as a training session, with very little programming.  Though the benefits of training mid-year are no doubt evident, we chose a different approach this year by using the session more for team-building purposes, with only one official training session (behind closed doors) in order to review our expectations for certain situations.

The reasoning behind this change was that we could use our weekly staff meetings as an opportunity to engage in mini-training sessions, in order to provide on-going training, and to fulfill identified need in a timely manner.  By using this approach, we have been able to redefine expectations for incident reporting, review concerns regarding addressing a student at risk of self-harm, as well as practice clear and concise communication with students, all within a week of identifying a need or concern.

I'm looking forward to seeing how this method will continue to benefit the staff in the coming months, and whether the added team-building will ensure a renewed bond between these individuals.

My #OneWord2013: Commit

Over the past several days, I have been reading tweets and blogs about people's success in achieving their #oneword2012 and couldn't help but remark to myself that I should have made that commitment as well. Unfortunately, like many others I'm sure, I am great at committing (or over-committing) in certain aspects of my life such as work, school, and relationships, but not so much at keeping my own personal commitments. 

This blog is a perfect example of my lack of commitment in the past. I was advised back in 2010 to begin blogging, but felt that I didn't really have very much to say, so after my first post I more or less gave up. Since then, there have been many times where I have thought about writing something, but didn't know where to start, so I let that dissuade me. 

Since 13 is my favorite number, I feel that 2013 may be the year to live up to my own commitments, and begin practicing what I preach so often to the residence students I interact with on a daily basis.  This brings me to my #oneword2013: 

http://www.fitmomintraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Commit.jpg

My commitments to myself in 2013 include:

- reading one academic, educational, or student affairs related publication per month (not for work) #12in12

- writing one blog post per week (even if I don't feel I have anything important to say)

- posting once per day on my Tumblr account about things that inspire me #postperday2013

- maintaining my budget, reducing my debt and increasing my net worth 

- researching and narrowing down #sagrad programs to (ideally) enroll for a 2014 start

- walking/running/biking 1000km in 2013

The Knowledge Inside our Heads

This morning I was engaging in an online discussion for one of my courses on the topic of technology in Student Affairs and Services.  One of my classmates, a Residence Life Coordinator, mentionned that she sometimes has to cover the front desk shift if someone doesn't come in, and she finds it frustrating that she has to go through weeks (or months) worth of logbooks in order to look up any key information.  This brought me to post the following on twitter: 'reflection: if someone had to do your job for a day/wk/mth, are you organized enough that they could do so successfully?'
I went for a run and while doing so, a blog post began formulating in my mind, and I came to realize that in many cases, it may not be our level of organization that is the problem, but how good we are at sharing (read: documenting) the knowledge inside our heads.  As far as organization goes, I think it's safe to say that we are doing fairly well on that end, we keep track of budgets, meeting notes, learning outcomes, program plans, etc.  I recall a Student Life Coordinator in my not-so-distant past being extremely proud of cutting the number of Orientation Week planning binders from 20-something down to 15 or so in one year).  We are also great at sharing best practices within our organizations and with each other, but how good are we at sharing the knowledge inside our heads?
Going back to my earlier tweet, I think in many cases, our countless notes/binders/logs would allow someone to successfully take over our jobs for a few days/weeks in the event we were not able to, at least as far as the mechanics of it goes.  Events would run smoothly, programs would be successful, meetings would be attended, etc.  But if we had to be absent for an extended period of time due to unforeseen circumstances, would that person be able to successfully do our jobs or would they spend the time going through the motions, but missing pieces here and there?  Would they understand the dynamics between certain departments/individuals?  How would they find out that you have a go-to contact for facilities/room bookings/catering?  I know none of us want to think of ourselves as replaceable, or make ourselves seem that way, but are we guilty of being 'selfish' with our knowledge?  With all the technological possibilities out there, how can we ensure that we are being transparent enough with ourselves to ensure the success of our organization, even if we can't be directly responsible for that success?